From Comfort Zone to Growth Zone - How to Achieve Your Dreams
What is your biggest dream? If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be? Mindset is everything. Having a growth mindset is critical for our personal and professional growth. We have more power in our own minds and hands than we often like to believe. By changing our minds we can literally change our lives. The right mindset helps you to operate at your best and achieve what you want. It’ll make you unstoppable. This doesn’t mean though that everything will always go your way or that you’ll never get disappointed, face rejection, or end up in extremely challenging situations. But it means that you will have courage, curiosity, and understanding that you can become the best version of yourself.
Recently I read a book, Everything is Figureoutable, by Marie Forleo. It’s a motivational self-help book and very encouraging. Everything is figureoutable is also a mantra and philosophy Marie Forleo believes in. I’ve been watching Marie’s videos on Youtube for almost a decade now and her inspiring stories have influenced me to pursue my own path. And this blog post was also inspired by her talks and book.
The Foundation: Know What You Want
It all starts by figuring out what you. There is so much information and options out there that without a target you will get lost. Become as clear and specific as possible. Not knowing what you want is more common than you might think. Here are some questions that could help you to figure out what you truly want: What excites or irritates you a lot about life, work, or the world? If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be? If you had one extra day every week, what would you do with that time? When you are brainstorming, it’s important to be brutally honest with yourself and not try to please anyone. Sometimes we think that we know what we want but at some point realise that we “want” something just because we think we should want it.
Say it aloud and then write your goals down. Even neuroscience has shown that you are more likely to achieve your goals if you can vividly describe them. In our hyper-stimulated, and overstretched world writing can help you to become more focused, efficient, and motivated. Keep that piece of paper somewhere where you can stare at it every single day. There’s this interesting thing called the generation effect which means that you are more likely to remember material that you have generated yourself than material you have merely read. More importantly, writing things down helps you to remember the most important things and thus, makes your brain more efficient.
Choose Your Beliefs Wisely
To achieve any goal, we also need to believe it’s possible and that we are worthy of it. We’re born creators and have the innate power to bring our ideas and visions into reality. Our beliefs are powerful because they shape our thoughts, feelings and behavior. Eventually they dictate who we become and how we get there.
Your beliefs about your capabilities can become your source of limitation or your liberation. Combined with low self-esteem or lack of confidence negative beliefs can keep us small, scared, and prevent us from growing. Many of us like to stay where things feel safe and familiar, and tend to avoid things that are uncomfortable and uncertain. In order to grow we need to step out of our comfort zone because that’s where the magic happens. In a new, undiscovered field we’ll gain experience, skills, and confidence. And action gives us more motivation. Often we “don’t feel like doing it”, or we “will start tomorrow”, but when we take action we start to feel more alive, energised and even inspired! For instance, sometimes I just don’t feel like going to the studio to do new challenging Pilates exercises (I’d prefer doing easy, familiar things at home…), but after a challenging session I always feel super happy that I showed up and feel inspired to gain even more knowledge!
Whether positive or negative, our environment is one the most significant sources of our current beliefs. We are the product of our environment. Thus, I think, it’s crucial to connect with growth-minded, creative souls like you! The amazing thing about modern technology is that even if you weren’t blessed with the most encouraging and forward-driven environment, you can find your tribe online. At least I have found social media, Youtube, podcasts, and internet in general extremely powerful when I haven’t had role models in my immediate circle. Merely witnessing something is possible can crack open a possibility within your consciousness about what is possible. It’s really hard to become what you don’t see. Read inspiring biographies, watch films, listen to podcasts, follow inspiring social media personalities, or pay more attention to good people in your daily life. There is valuable information and inspiration everywhere. Don’t limit yourself and your creativity. Surround yourself with successful people who have their valuable experience to share, and let go of those who are pulling you down.
Train Your Brain For Growth
Growth mindset is something many successful entrepreneurs love to talk about. Carol Dweck, Ph.D., research this topic and introduced the idea of a growth vs fixed mindset in her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. According to Dr. Dweck, individuals who believe their talents, intelligence, and ability can be learned and improved with effort have a growth mindset. These individuals tend to achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset. Fixed mindset means the belief that intelligence, ability, and talent are inborn and relatively fixed. You avoid challenges, resist criticism, and perform for approval.
By adopting a growth mindset we can feel more empowered and committed to work hard to make a change. You believe that your most basic abilities can be developed. If you put in the effort and stay persistent, you can learn almost anything! When you have an optimistic outlook, you start to see mistakes and failures as an opportunity to learn. You look for challenges and real-world feedback. You understand that getting better is a process. You start to love learning and become more resilient. A pure growth mindset doesn’t not exist, and we all have our fixed-mindset triggers, but being able to recognise these triggers helps. Your mind can work either for or against you. This is the reason why you want to become aware of any destructive thought patterns when you’re learning something new. When you transform any negative thoughts to helpful, productive questions, you train your brain to find new connections, solutions, innovations, and opportunities that you would have otherwise ignored. Instead of ending up into the negative self-doubt loop, add the word “yet” to the end of any negative thought to turn things into more positive self-talk. For example: Instead of thinking, “I’m not good with money”, say “I’m not good with money yet”. These two very different mindsets radically impact the results we create in our lives. Each and every moment you can choose to put yourself in either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset: pain and suffering, or endless growth and accomplishment.
No More Excuses: Just DO IT
And then take action! The biggest barriers are often in our own minds and our own excuses that hold us back. You progress only by implementing ideas. In her book, Marie Forleo says it well: action is the antidote to fear. It doesn’t matter how small steps you take forward as long as you stay in action. That’s how you will get valuable feedback and experience, and over time you will improve your skills. If you truly want to achieve your dream, you need to let go of excuses. The most common ones are lack of time, resources, or ability. Even though in reality we have no desire to make the sacrifice or put in the effort to get the specific result. We don’t want it bad enough at that moment. It’s better to be honest with yourself and tell the truth. And this does not make you a bad person.
I am very familiar with this. For instance, in the case of my driver's license I was the master of excuses. I always had an excuse for anyone who asked why on earth I still didn’t have one. Here are some of my favourites: in cities I “didn’t need” it because of public transportation and Uber. During my internships I “couldn’t afford it”, or “didn’t have time” to complete the courses and training it would require since I already had a Pilates teacher training as my side hustle. Or here’s the most absurd one: I could never learn it since “I’m too scared” and “really bad with any kind of machinery”. The truth of the matter is, these were only partly true and therefore, excuses. Long story short, at some point I realised that I have been postponing this driving school thing for over a decade. I kind of wanted to do it but not bad enough to put in the effort. Yes, it took months and many extra lessons to overcome my fear but I finally got it. No matter what it has been in the past, if I truly have wanted and cared about something, I have always found the money, ability, and time one way or another - whether it has been about finding money for an unpaid internship in New York or for my teacher trainings, or finding the time to complete my degrees, and the list goes on.
When we say we “can’t” do something, we start to fall into victimhood. As if we had no control over time, resources, or choices. We are in charge of our thoughts and actions. We choose how we use our resources and time. When you recognise that you are 100% responsible for your life the game changes: you feel more powerful and empowered to take action. Especially lack of time is a huge one. It’s never about having the time - it’s about making the time. Our society’s biggest time sucks are things like email, social media, group text messages, being on your smartphone, internet in general, commuting, meetings, etc. I want to highlight here that screen addiction is a thing - and it’s not by accident - it’s by design. Most of us are unaware how much time we actually spend with our devices because it has become habitual, automatic behavior. It’s important to recognise the cumulative effect of wasting your time and the opportunity cost: every choice has a price. Instead of mindlessly scrolling your phone every day for 30 minutes, what could you do instead? Workout, learn a new language, spend time with your loved ones... And by the way, on average we spend over two hours (!) on social media every day.
Similarly, if your excuse is money, find ways to create more value. Money should never be an issue. Never! There are a zillion ways to make and get money. Have a side job, sell old stuff, try crowdfunding for your business idea, or look for scholarships and grants. Come up with creative ideas how you could save and spend less, such as visiting farmer’s market right before closing (sometimes they offer discounts during the last hour), use online coupon codes, automate your personal finances (savings & investing), find an affordable home (go small, choose older property, move farther away, avoid busy months), and so on.
Let go of perfectionism because it tends to lead to procrastination which can often be disguised as “research and planning”. This is my biggest challenge! Some research and planning may be essential but you don’t want to spend more time than necessary hiding behind the books and websites. It’s better to do something than nothing at all. Strive for progress not perfection; This will put you in a productive mindset. It’s only by going through a volume of work that you can close the gap between your ambition and your ability. Commit to making simple, small daily progress. Maybe it’s stretching for 10 minutes every morning, writing two pages every evening, contacting three new clients every day… Who cares as long as you keep moving forward.
Stay Patient - Trust the Process
Our modern fast-speed world lacks patience and mindfulness. When we lack patience it’s very easy to give up when we don’t see measurable progress immediately. We live in a culture of instant gratification, and patience has become one the most underrated traits in this world. Technology is great but it also feeds picture-perfect illusions. To build real skills, expertise, authentic relationships, or profitable business - or anything valuable for long-term - it takes sustained, continuous effort. This is not about weeks, not about months. This is about years. You want to find something that you are willing to work for - no matter how long it takes.
Learn to look further into the future. Ask yourself how you want your life to look like one year, five years, ten years, or even decades from now. It’s all those small daily habits that will accumulate over time and create your future. Achieving our wildest dreams requires discipline and deep focus that develops through daily routines. With patience and tolerance you can move through all kinds of emotional turmoils. Mistakes and failures are inevitable. Decide to learn from every attempt. What can I learn from this? How can I improve? You will get stronger and better!
Repetition is a key principle in neuroplasticity. That’s the only way to overcome your fear and improve your skills. It has taken your entire lifetime to acquire and reinforce your current beliefs and behavior and therefore, creating new habits can take time. Keep showing up - no matter what. All great things take time. Everything you need to succeed is already within you.
Sending you so much love, peace, and light!
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